Friday, August 14, 2009

Movie Review -- District 9

Well, that movie that everyone has been secretly talking about, District 9, is here. Was it worth all of the hype it has received? Yes -- this movie was incredible. Congratulations Neill Blomkamp, you have created a movie that Michael Bay & Stephen Sommers should both be forced to watch over and over again in filmaking 101 in hopes that they learn a valuable lesson: special effects should support the story, not be the story.

District 9 is a very special movie in one very important sense: it's original. The film might actually be the most original movie you will see all summer, if not for the next couple of years. For one, the classic 'alien comes to Earth' story has been flipped on its head. Blomkamp does not portray these strange creatures as powerful aliens, but instead, they come across as a weak and ugly race -- at least through the eyes of the humans. The aliens, otherwise known as the "prawn," have crash landed on Earth, and the humans have found them hiding in their massive ship, both malnourished and very close to death. Thus, what do the humans do? They throw the aliens into a camp, fence off the area, call it District 9, and become extremely interested in their weapons.

District 9 is a movie about human greed and ignorance, no doubt. Blomkamp drives those two themes home mercilessly. However, the film is also about how, when push comes to shove, we can learn to live together. The main character, played by Sharlto Copley, who by the way delivered an amazing performance, is assigned to a task force that must serve eviction notices to the prawn. The plan: take the aliens, and move them into even smaller homes, which are disconnected from human society. During the mission, Copley comes across an alien container, gets sprayed by some black goo, and before he knows it, something starts happening to him whether he likes it or not. The rest of the film follows him and his incredible journey into the heart of District 9, the only place that he can take shelter in due to his rare new condition, where he makes an unlikely friend called Christopher. Throughout the film, Copley turns into the most unlikely hero since Bruce Campbell in The Evil Dead.

The aliens in this movie are not pretty. Think of tall black ugly lobsters who eat cat food, meat, and rubber, and that's what you'll get. The conditions they live in are disgraceful, and of course, where there are slums, there is violence. This movie is very violent at times, but the violence is never overdone. If anything, the violence is needed in order to make the story as effective as it is. District 9 is what it is, and it isn't trying to be anything else. The film is savage, and it doesn't give a shit if you agree with that or not.

Some of the special effects in this movie are just jaw dropping. I could not believe this movie was created on a budget of 30 million. To me, being able to create such an epic movie on such a low budget is THE true mark of a genius filmmaker. Let's name some other directors who have been able to accomplish that very same task in the past: Steven Spielberg (Jaws), James Cameron (The Terminator), Sam Raimi (Evil Dead), and Peter Jackson (Dead Alive, Heavenly Creatures, The Lord of the Rings, the list goes on with this one). Blomkamp (District 9), I think you are on the right track.

In my G.I. Joe review, I stated that the new G.I. Joe film reminded me of Street Fighter. Well, District 9 does not remind me of Street Fighter, it reminds me of The Terminator. District 9 is insanely original on to many levels to count, and I feel comfortable in making some predictions here. This film will be the sleeper hit of the summer, just as The Terminator was back in 1984, and it will also go down as a science fiction classic, the same way that The Terminator is considered one today. As for Blomkamp, I have no fear in stating that he will one day be a very important director, if he isn't considered one already.

Recommendation: If you see one movie this summer, it should be this one.


Rating: 3.5/4

Monday, August 10, 2009

Movie Review -- G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra

Ahh, the summer is here. Can ya smell the CGI? I sure fucking can. Sigh.

I'm not sure that it matters if I do or do not delve into the plot of this new pixel party of a movie, but I will, just in case anyone is actually reading these things. Bad guys in weird suits want to take over the world with small green computers that eat everything, and good guys in even weirder suits come flying from the sky in hopes of stopping it all. In short, if you were hoping for some sort of logical plot line, then DO NOT go see this movie. However, if you like being beaten over the head with a barrage of CGI shots for two consistent hours, courtesy of Steven Summers of course, then by all means, go see G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra.

On top of the movie practically not having a fucking story, the little story that it does have is riddled with plots holes to the point of embarrassment. Very little is explained, and when things do occur up on that silver screen, the audience has to fill in many of the blanks. The twists in the movie are of course preposterous, and the cheese factor is unbearable at points.

Now, with all of that complaining out of the way, this is exactly what I expected from this movie. If you are going to go see this movie in hopes of catching an early Oscar winning performance, trust me, that's not what you are going to get. The acting in this movie is beyond atrocious. However, the movie itself knows what it is, and it knows what its trying to do. Is it cheesy? Of course, it's fraking G.I. Joe. Steven Summers clearly has his tongue planted firmly into the side of his cheek. This might be the only reason that this movie was slightly better than the new Transformers, and even then, I'm not to sure that's saying much.

So yeah, I get it, I understand what the guy was trying to do. But in all honesty, it was just lame. Out of the 1 hour and 45 minutes of action sequences (if you do the math, that only leaves about 15 minutes to flesh out the characters), there was only one action sequence, which involved a chase scene through Paris, that I enjoyed. It made me feel like a kid again. Granted, that scene was probably about 30 minutes long, but it just wasn't enough to save the movie as a whole. You know what this movie reminded me of? You remember Street Fighter with Jean Claude, the muscles from Brussels? Yeah, that one, just super upgraded. Take that comment as you will.

Recommendation: When Street Fighter came out, I was 10, and I liked it then. So, I guess if your 10 years old, you should go see this movie.


Rating: 1/4

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Movie Review -- Moon

Has anyone else noticed how the Science Fiction genre is slowly starting to creep back into mainstream pop culture? Shit, I don't care, the more the better if you ask me. The latest Science Fiction hurrah put out by Hollywood these days is titled Moon. Directed by Duncan Jones, who I think is David Bowie's son (I could be wrong), and starring Sam Rockwell, Moon actually turned out to be a decent flick.

After watching the trailer for Moon, I thought to myself, fuck me silly, the next 2001: A Space Odyssey is here. I mean, when one hears Kevin Spacey's monotonous voice come out of a computer, one cannot help but think about the evil HAL in Kubrick's classic science fiction movie. Even the rest of the spaceship seemed to be modeled after the machines in 2001. Needless to say, that, and the interesting twist introduced in the trailer, Sam Rockwell finding another living version of himself in space (!), had me very excited about this movie.

The movie is what I expected it to be: Sam Rockwell on a spaceship talking to a computer and his other self for 97 minutes. Sounds boring, right? Actually, not really. The initial idea behind the trailer was rather creative, and to be honest with you, the only reason I paid 10 dollars and 50 fucking cents to see this movie. However, that's where I think the film lost some of its magic. Instead of leading this movie down an interesting path, the entire thing just felt a bit safe at times. Especially the ending, it was just downright lazy. I will not ruin the second twist of the film, but I will say this: I was expecting time travel, and I got something else.

With that minor (?) issue out of the way, you should know that Sam Rockwell's performance is a good enough reason to go see this movie. I mean, dude, it was like, woah. Seeing two completely different characters up on that silver screen being played by the same actor was nothing short of fascinating. I wouldn't mind seeing Rockwell get some accolades for this one. And despite how mundane the plot might seem at times, there are some touching scenes here. Director Jones even raises some important questions, such as, what exactly does it mean to be human? I would like to discuss that part of the film here, but hey, I can't. I would ruin the entire thing for you.

Recommendation: Moon is a solid movie, but wait for the rental. It's not worth $10.50, its worth about maybe $8.00.


Rating: 3/4


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Movie Review -- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Hooray, the new Harry Potter film is here. Was it worth the wait? Well, more yes than no, which is a good thing.

Alright, so we all know the basic Harry Potter storyline, right? Harry Potter is the chosen one, and he is the one who must face Voldemort (=o !!!) and kill him. Voldemort (klhasdkjhsd!@(*&@#) is of course the deadliest wizard in the entire world (omg), and his only botched murder attempt happened to be on Harry Potter. As the story evolves, Harry Potter gets older, hornier, and progressively closer to facing Voldemort (damn it, stop saying his name) once and for all.

In this 6th installment of the Potter series, Harry and Dumbledore embark on a CSI style investigation of Voldemort's (!) stored memories from childhood in hopes of maybe unlocking some sort of secret that will help bring the evil wizard down to China town. While this is going on however, life resumes, and the audience gets a painful (maybe pleasant for some) reminder of what it use to feel like to be a teenage. I don't know if director David Yates decided on keeping the estrogen flowing throughout this movie simply to compete with the Twilight series, but shit, these kids are fraking horny.

Now, don't get me wrong. This whole hormone thing was clearly present throughout Rowling's series, and on purpose to boot. But, as a fan of the books, I never once felt that the Voldemort (!) storyline fell second to the teenage drama that was going on. I also felt that because there was so much emphasis on the teenage life throughout the film, there was little room for all of the wizardry that should have been going on. Now, I do hate comparing book to film, but this is an issue that I must bring up. I have not read the Half-Blood Prince book since it came out, mainly because I did not want to be disappointed when the movie came out because I knew that shit would get changed in the movie, thus leaving me utterly annoyed. However, with that being said, there were some very key things that this movie fumbled the ball on. For instance, the entire wizard battle at the end of the book is non-existent! What the fuck! Director Yates, shame on you! That could have been epic as shit! I just used four exclamation points in a row I'm so angry! (Fuck, now 5! 6?)

But lets be honest here. I'm not here to compare the book to the film. The film, on it's own, is a good one. There weren't any dull moments in the movie, but there weren't any that blew my mind either. The story was paced pretty well, and considering the amount of material Yates had to work with, he did a decent job cutting it up and creating a happy medium. Some things about this film that did absolutely 100% blow my mind however, were the special effects and cinematography. This is some Grade A shit guys and gals. And trust me, you don't need to be a movie junkie to realize that whats up on that silver screen, from a technical standpoint anyway, is nothing short of staggering.

Recommendation: The Potter book fans will be content, and surely consider this to be a worthy installment in the film series. The Potter movie fans however, won't know what was left out from the book, and will probably like this movie a lot more. Clearly, the only real recommendation here is to stop reading this review immediately, and instead, to start reading the Harry Potter series as opposed to watching it.

Rating: 3/4

Monday, July 13, 2009

Movie Review -- Bruno

Sacha Baron Cohen storms onto the silver screen once again, and naturally, he pushes the boundaries of comedic cinema once more. If you think Borat was offensive, or just plain disgusting, wait until you see this one. But then again, if you enjoyed Borat, there is a very good chance that you will like this one just as much, if not more.

The movie's central character, Bruno, is an Austrian, who by the way is a flaming homosexual, in case you were unable to deduce that little piece of information from the trailer, who just wants to be famous, and will do just about anything to realize that dream. Bruno travels all around the world, meets different people, and, just like Borat, embarrassing situations seem to find him.

The only difference between the ridiculous situations in this movie and Borat however, are the people that are found in them. They have a much higher profile this time around. Individuals such as Ron Paul and Paula Abdul, just to name a few, make appearances. This of course doesn't make the scenarios any less funnier, but the audience will certainly be more suspicious of the pranks authenticity.

There are some very funny scenes in this movie. I don't want to ruin anything for you, but some of these scenes need to be seen to be believed. There are also some other scenes with some profound moral implications. For instance, there is an unbelievable scene in which parents agree to do the most outrageous things to their little kids in order to get them in the spotlight. One parent agrees to use liposuction on her 30 pound infant! This scene, is of course, what this movie is all about. Exactly how far will someone go to be liked, or in Bruno's case, be famous?

The movie raises this important question because it is something that many people today struggle with. If you want to be gay, then whats wrong with that? Apparently, many people have a problem with such differences. Just youtube "Homosexuality Exorcism," and you'll get the idea. But it isn't just about being gay, it's about being different. It's okay to be who you are, even if no one else agrees with that, which is what the movie brilliantly highlights in one of it's climactic scenes involving a wrestling ring.

Recommendation: While this movie isn't a masterpiece, that doesn't mean it isn't beautiful. I highly encourage everyone to see this film.

Rating: 3.5/4


Sunday, July 12, 2009

Concert Review -- Judas Priest

I just saw Judas Priest last night at the PNC Banks Art Center in Holmdel, NJ, and holy shit, what a show. I've seen them a couple of times now since Rob Halford has returned to the band, but this show, mainly due to the set list, was easily one of their best.

I wasn't to sure about them playing the entire British Steel album live, but I have to say, that shit rocked like there was no tomorrow. The rest of the set list contained songs from that same era, except for the one Nostradamus song they played, so for the entire show, I felt like I was rocking out in the 70s somewhere. Some of the slower moving stuff in songs like The Rage & Victim of Chances really had people tripping out. I think I actually saw some people dancing and grooving out...at a Judas Priest show.

But the show wasn't all groovy rock though. Once the lights hit on Breaking The Law and Freewheel Burning (yes, that's right, Freewheel fucking Burning...motorcycle and all), you bet your little ass that everyone had their heads banging & fists pumping in the air (please do not confuse this for the Jersey fist pump, none of this nonsense here). Fuck me silly, what a show.

The openers, Pop Evil, I missed, I think, subconsciously, on purpose. I've heard a couple of their songs on the radio, and their music just isn't my thing. Whitesnake on the other hand wasn't bad at all. They played a lot of songs from the one album that I have of them, so, at times, I was actually enjoying them.

These opening acts didn't matter though, is what I'm really trying to say. Once the mighty Priest hit the ground running with Rapid Fire (woo!), and Halford ambled onto the stage in his new Denim outfit, that was it, I was completely and utterly sold, and so was everyone else in that joint.

Thank you Judas Priest for 40 long years of Heavy Metal, and may you keep on rocking for another 40.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Movie Review -- Away We Go

Alas, the new Sam Mendes movie, Away We Go, starring John Krasinski (The Office!) & Maya Rudolph, is here. The story revolves around two individuals, Burt & Verona, who are madly in love with the each other. The fact that they are piss poor, for instance, is of little significance because, hey, they are in love (duh!). Once the couple discovers that Verona is pregnant, and that Burt's parents will not be there to take care of the child however, they decide to tour the country in hopes of finding a place to settle down and start a nice little family. How quaint. This movie, in short, is a film about life, and how crazy it is, the ups and the downs of it, and no matter how hard we try, we have no control over how everything turns out. Might as well enjoy it while you are enjoying it, I guess.

Throughout their little excursion however, Burt and Verona make little pit stops here and there to say hello to some old friends, who are, for the most part, rather strange to say the least. The eccentric personalities that Burt & Verona run into during their little road trip are all very interesting characters, and to some degree, keep the movie rolling along. Mendes uses these different characters wisely in a sense that he creates a pretty good balance between humor & some very touching moments.

Despite the well timed humor and the sweet moments though, this movie was just 'okay.' I will say that I was almost positive that I was walking into another brilliant Sam Mendes movie, but for some reason, I just wasn't crazy about this one once the credits started to roll up. This movie felt like filler to me. Something to keep the Mendes fans at bay while he meticulously prepared his next mammoth sized film behind the scenes. Let's face it, films like Road to Perdition, Revolutionary Road, and American Beauty are on a totally different level when compared to Away We Go.

However, please don't take this as me saying that Away We Go was an 'okay' movie simply because it wasn't as good as the other movies that were directed by Mendes. What I'm trying to say is that this movie was good, and that's it. A very fine movie indeed. The movie started off in an interesting fashion, but then it started to drag a bit towards the end, and then I just didn't care as much as I did in the beginning. Nothing to write home about, but nothing to cry about either.

Recommendation: Catch it on a matinee, or wait for the rental if you're going to be watching this one alone. Might not be a bad choice of movie if chicks are in the audience though, and even then, I'm not so sure (dahhhh, I'm such a chauvinist pig! whatever).

Rating: 2.5/4